March 26th, 2012

old gm building

M&M's® Speckled Eggs Easter Blend

Every day that I skip lunch, I always tell myself that hunger pangs come and go, and that it's no big problem. But then every day I do this I forget about the whole "feeling like utter shit" part and then regret my decision. The stupid vending machine wouldn't even let me buy peanuts.

When I'm out of blood sugar--or whatever the hell is scientifically happening--things just stop making sense to me. Take this ad on my email page for example. It says "Make Easter decorating fun with M&M's® Speckled Eggs Easter Blend."

Where am I, Bizarro World? Is the Mars Corporation implying that Easter decorating isn't already fun? Is there some other reason why people do it? If you don't like it, who the fuck is making you? Well, it is no matter, for the dull drudgery of Easter decorating has now been made FUN ... by buying pre-decorated, mass-manufactured M&M's®!

And there is something else I'm not getting. Here is the way I understand it:
Step 1: The infinite creator of the universe incarnates in human form.
Step 2: We humans torture him to death.
Step 3: This death is a blood sacrifice that is the final vicarious atonement for all sins of the human race collectively.
Step 4: The corporeal manifestation of the creator rises again to live forever as those who accept his gift of atonement will live forever with him after death.
Step 5: Make Easter decorating fun with M&M's® Speckled Eggs Easter Blend.

Am I fucking missing something?