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Bartleby the Scrivener vegan27
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opossum
My next door neighbor Joann called me last night at 11:30 to tell me that our chickens were squawking very loudly. I rushed out there to see what was the matter to found an OPOSSUM in the coop. It wasn't fully grown, but big enough to be a menace. It was in a corner eating eggs. I told it to get out, but it just froze. I had to push it out the little coop door with my flashlight. At first I couldn't find Eleanor, but she was out in the chicken run, standing still and pretty terrified. She must have been sitting on the eggs until the opossum got her away from them. She didn't seem injured. THIS is why coop doors exist. We've been getting lazy about closing it at night. (And by "we" I mean "I"--Anny didn't get home until after dark last night, so I should have closed it.) I am glad none of the chickens were eaten.

Back in high school, Joe had a zine called Waiting for Lunch. One issue had a children's activity page from the fictitious restaurant "Big Fat Zelda's Grease Barn". Joe tried to think of the most filthy, sniveling creature possible to be the "child-friendly" mascot of the kids page, and he came up with Olga the Opossum™:



I actually thinks that opossums are cute ... in a snarling, disease-infested way. I used to--by which I mean "still do"--stare at this page and laugh non-stop until I force myself to look away. I especially love the two activities at the bottom:



Maybe you have to be best friends with Joe Krause to fully understand how funny that is.


P.S. The word "possum" only refers to a species that lives in Australia. North America only has "opossums".

HA! I remember that from high school! It's just as hilarious now as it was back then.