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old gm building
Bartleby the Scrivener vegan27
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I have stayed at the Bagley house late most nights for the last two weeks so that at least the porch would be finished in time for Joe's party, which was Friday. I wanted the home's entrance to be dignified and welcoming. Here it is compared to a photo taken last fall:

The partygoers proceeded to ash their cigarettes all over the freshly painted porch and throw all of their cigarette butts on the ground all around the house. So there's that. I would curse these people, but the things they are doing to their own bodies are already far worse than any punishment I would ever wish upon them.

Pictured above: lung cancer.
Nice job, shit-wit!

When I got to the house this morning I could see that an effort was made to pick up the cigarette butts, but I had to put on gloves and pick up the rest. St. Paul wrote that Christian love "does not keep a record of wrongs". Well, I'm not Christian, and I can tell you that there were exactly thirty-four cigarette butts left behind. To be fair, it's possible that some of those were from house guests before Friday.

It also turns out that the party moved outside after I left and lasted until 4am. I hope the neighbors have central air and didn't have to sleep with their windows open, because that street is a fairly intimate space where voices carry very easily. When I was painting the porch spindles, a man across the street was on his phone, and I could clearly and easily hear every word of the conversation as if he was speaking to me. Hopefully the party guests were in the alley and not on the sidewalk.

People were also smoking pot at the party. We know this because someone left their pipe behind. ON THE LEDGE NEXT TO THE MAILBOX OUTSIDE. Good one. I'm doing *everything I can* to make the house *NOT* look like a whitetrash shithole, and the response from the guests who have been welcomed into the house is basically a giant middle finger to myself, the renters, and our neighbors. This nation has produced an entire generation of adult children who don't know how to act. Thanks, everyone.

I promise if I am ever invited to a party at your place to not smoke cigarettes, trash the places, stay up too late and annoy your neighbors, or do anything else of that nature to incite your ire. BTW, the place looks amazing. I drove by recently, and I have to say, it has come a long way.

Don't worry, I know you wouldn't act rude and insane. :) If I do move into the house one day, maybe I'll have a housewarming party and only invite people who don't garbage onto the ground of the places where they are invited. Actually, I don't think I'm friends with anyone who would do such a thing, and I'm not sure why anyone else would be. Am I strange for looking at throwing garbage onto somebody's property as a friendship-ending event?

I could also just wait for Joe's next party and invite you to that. Also remember that I did invite you to a vegan Thanksgiving years ago back when I still had those, but you didn't make it. :P