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Bartleby the Scrivener vegan27
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operation: try not to die alone
My bullshit false modesty about dating-related LiveJournal posts isn't fooling you, and it isn't fooling myself. So let's get on with it.

Operation: Try Not To Die Alone is yielding mixed results. Before tonight I had two OK Cupid dates. The Thursday date went really well and we have a second date planned; and the date last Saturday certainly was not bad, but I did not feel a connection to her. She was cute and cool, but asking yourself if you feel drawn to someone is like asking whether or not you are hungry or if you should have children: if you aren't sure, the answer is "no". Unfortunately, there is no way to say "let's be friends" without sounding like an asshole, so I hope it happens on its own.

And then there was tonight's date. This woman actually emailed *me* first, and was the only person to do so on OK Cupid. Although she wasn't exactly my type, I thought, "What the hell?" What I took as flattery should have been "clue number one". After we planned to meet up, I was looking through her answers to the site's survey questions. One of the questions asks users if they are on the site to find a partner with whom they wish to have children, and she answered "yes". So that was "clue number two" right there.

Now, I'm obviously no Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Having said that, let's not pretend that it isn't a bad feeling to experience thorough non-attraction to one's date. This wasn't a case of "You're cute but I'm not feeling it"--it was more like, "Oh god, I don't have to, do I??" Before Operation: Try Not To Die Alone was initiated, I only dated people I either previously knew as friends or first hung out with under platonic pretenses. This policy shall be reinstituted immediately following tomorrow's final OK Cupid date.

Here's an idea: Don't go to your place of employment on a first date. I thought going to Friday Night Live at the DIA would be cool because I can get myself and guests in for free. God has clearly punished me for being a cheap asshole. I was walking around thinking, "I hope no one thinks that this person is my date," and then remembering that she is. I kept on hoping that the staff who work evenings would all be people who I don't know--but no, it was all the same security officers, front desk clerks, etc. as usual.

As if that wasn't bad enough, she brought along a book that she had borrowed from the programming manager who was coincidentally her ex-brother-in-law (or something). I tried to explain to her that he is working right now and doesn't want to hang onto a fucking book while trying to manage the logistics of a live musical performance. I remained seated when she brought it up to him. I hope she didn't tell him who she was with, but I'm pretty sure that God saw to it that I was punished for my shallowness as well as my cheapness.

And just to add a special touch of weirdness to it all, the woman stared at my shoulders the entire evening. So what the fuck was THAT? I actually started to ask her at some point, but she interrupted me and I decided to just drop it. She stared at them with increasing frequency until by the time I dropped her off at her car, she was literally just sitting there and looking right at them while talking to me. It gave me the heebie-jeebies.

I came home and inactivated my OK Cupid account. However, as I mentioned I do have one final OK Cupid date tomorrow evening, but I am actually optimistic about it.

(Deleted comment)
I would have referred to tonight's date by her LJ user name, but I didn't want to embarrass two women in one LJ entry. :)

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard right now! I'm sure that was horrible and I feel so bad that you went through that, but the way you wrote it is hilarious. I hope your final date goes well, but it sounds like you aren't too worried about that one so that's good!

I've found that writing very plainly and simply about a bad (but ultimately harmless) situation tends to be automatically funny. "There is nothing funnier than unhappiness," said Samuel Beckett. :)

Right after me and Zane broke up I had an OKCupid profile but it lasted about two weeks before I deactivated it because I got overwhelmed by the amount of people talking to me. I know that sounds ridiculous but don't underestimate how much I hate strangers. I realized that my fear/hatred of talking to strangers was a pretty big roadblock and deactivated it. Though I've been thinking of reactivating it, I'm honestly not interested in having a committed relationship for a while and am afraid of leading people on, so I still haven't reactivated it.

Every woman I've talked to about OK Cupid says that they basically just receive an unending stream of obscene and/or completely idiotic messages from creeps and weirdos from the second they activate their profile. I hope any second attempt you make with that site works better for you.

Also it's good to see that you reactivated Facebook.

Three words: Match. Dot. Com. You get a lot fewer weirdos (i.e. shoulder staring types, etc) when you have to pay for membership. Plus, that's where I met my lovely husband. :-)

But then I'd get weirdos who think that the dot in "dot com" is a word. :P

No, I've had some success with OK Cupid, it's just that the bad experiences are more fun to write about.